Ignorance Is Bliss
by NarutoNinja44InHidingDude
Summary: Panini ties up Chowder to ask him the 'big' question she's been dying to ask him. But what happens when Ceviche tapes the answer but has to choose over Panini or his happiness? One-sided Panini x Chowder and Panini x Ceviche. Hinted Chowder x Gorgonzola.


_Disclaimer: I do not own Chowder. C.H. Greenblatt and his awesome mightiness own Chowder._

**Ignorance Is Bliss**

"Panini is something wrong?" Chowder tilted his head to the side in confusion. He was tied up in a storage room that noticeably lacked food, and while he was contained, Panini had not tried any attempts to kiss, touch, or hold the purple cat-bear-rabbit thing. And knowing Panini's romantic outputs like Chowder did, Chowder knew that something must've been wrong for her to be acting so strangely.

Panini growled in response as she glanced at Chowder then started to pace, how cute and innocent he looked, staring up at her in pure puzzlement, trying to make sense of this whole situation. Panini couldn't help but love him. Ever since she shared her powdered flart with the boy, a little bit more than three years ago to now, with the two of them alone in a storage room.

Yet over and over, intentionally or unintentionally, he had managed to break her heart at every romantic pass she attempted. She had tried to make him happy in many ways to make him attracted to her. He liked food, she cooked and handed him food on a silver platter. He needed money; she wrote out checks and wasted credit and gift cards like it was water. He wanted a friend, she talked and played with him and acted like his best friend that he had never had.

Panini growled again and continued her pacing. No matter what she did, how she did it, someone always stood in her way from the beginning, stopping her in her tracks and beating her at her own game.

Gorgonzola. No matter what she did, that sickly green rodent beat her in every way. He showered Chowder in gourmet food, bought him everything he plainly wished for and much more, and not only offered his friendship, but his shoulder to cry on and his heart to comfort and console and allow him to handle.

It made Panini sick to her stomach that Chowder chose that runny nosed, candle holding rat over her. Why would he choose _Gorgonzola_ over her? But, honestly, she did know why, which is why she had the love of her short life bound against his will in one of Marzipan City's random storage rooms on the street. To ask him the big question she's been dying to know the answer to.

"Don't worry Mr. Tummy, I'm sure Panini brought snacks too," Chowder's childish tone of a voice floated into Panini's overly long ears.

"Who are you talking to?" Panini asked, whipping her body around to face Chowder.

"Why, Mr. Tummy of course! He gets really hungry which makes me really hungry, and then we get so hungry that Mr. Tummy starts to eat himself and it feels like I have an empty hollow hole for a tummy instead of Mr. Tummy."

"Chowder, I asked who you were talking to, not for your life story," Panini sighed. As cute as Chowder was, he sure was scatterbrained. Sure, it's gotten better over the years, but he still rambled on about nothing and everything like there would be no day after tomorrow.

"Panini, are you okay?" Chowder asked with a hint of sympathy in his voice.

"I'm fine." Panini answered aggravated.

"Oh, okay then. Because normally when people sigh, it means that something's wrong. Do you want a hug?" Chowder offered, raising an eyebrow.

"Are you gay or something?" Panini snapped irritably at Chowder. She then completely shut up, cursing herself for using that answer as her auto-pilot response towards Ceviche's 'do you wanna hug?' moods. But she did call it a blessing in disguise for it had presented the question she's been meaning to ask out in the open.

Chowder though for a few seconds, "_Well_, I am a very jolly person!" He then beamed up at the pink rabbit-cat-bear thing with pearly white teeth to exaggerate this jolliness.

"Don't be such a smartass and just answer my question seriously," Panini growled, pinching the space in between her eyes.

"I did answer you. And my ass isn't very smart, it doesn't have a brain and all, you know."

Panini grinded her teeth, "Playing the hard way huh? Well then…CEVICHE!" Panini yelled to the ceiling and echoing off the concrete walls.

The faded wooden door then shot open, and immediately the purple haired goat rushed to his crush's side, happy that Panini had called for him, "Yes, Panini?" He asked in his same monotone voice.

"Oooooo, Ceviche, I love that new top you have on," Chowder cooed, smiling at the faded pink polo shirt, "It really does bring out your eyes."

"Uh…thanks Chowder?" Ceviche replied, giving back a tentative smile then refocusing on his crush to fulfill her every demand and whim.

"You really _are_ gay aren't you?" Panini mumbled, looking at Chowder.

"I did tell you I'm a happy person," Chowder replied to her self-conversation.

Panini sighed in frustration, "No, you idiot! I mean the boy kissing boy gay!"

Chowder blinked back innocently before responding with, "Are they happy too?"

Panini felt like her head was going to explode from Chowder's naiveté, Ceviche placed a hand on her shoulder to comfort her, "Why don't you leave for a few minutes and calm down? I made some coffee for you outside, with cream and sugar and milk…"

Panini gazed at Ceviche for a few hard moments before nodding reluctantly, "Yeah that sounds good. And don't forget-"

"Don't worry, I won't," Ceviche replied loyally, nudging her towards the door and waiting for her to leave.

Once the door closed Ceviche smiled to himself. How graceful that girl walked, she was like an angel sent from heaven except with a horrible attitude and he would do anything for her. He was Romeo and she was his glowing, intelligent, beautiful-

"_So_, what's up, Ceviche?" Chowder spoke up, interrupting Ceviche's daydreams of Panini. Chowder didn't know why, but for some reason Ceviche and him seemed to get along pretty well despite him always following Panini around and helping her with her schemes to somehow own Chowder and his freedom and will and well, everything.

Ceviche frowned at the lost daydream, turning to Chowder he asked, "Why are you being difficult with Panini?"

"Gorgonzola said to be difficult. He likes when I'm difficult." Chowder replied simply, shrugging like it was no big deal.

Ceviche's eyebrows rose at this answer, "I see. So do you like Gorgonzola?"

"Of course I do! He's my friend and all," Chowder smiled as he answered, remembering all the good things his best friend has done for him.

"I mean, do you like like him?" Ceviche prodded further, while pressing the record button on a tape recorder in his back pants pocket.

"_Oh_, is that what Panini was asking? Well, yeah, we're half-gay you know," Chowder replied proudly, puffing out his chest.

"…I'm sorry, you're _what_?" Ceviche asked, puzzlement coming over his face.

"You know. Half-gay, we like guys and girls, you know?"

"Oh." Ceviche said, smiling at this answer. Panini should be happy with the answer, "So you're bisexual?"

"Gorgonzola thinks it's more 'appealing' when I say half-gay," Chowder answered, seeming confused with the word 'appealing' as he remembered Gorgonzola speaking those same lines in an attractive way.

"I see…" Ceviche answered feeling a bit awkward as he had to answer another question Panini have wanted answered, "And…um…have you kissed him…?" He asked, taking a few steps as his hand wandered behind his back to make sure the recorder was in his back pocket securely.

Chowder paused to think before nodding his head, "Yeah, accidentally of course! Gorgonzola says he doesn't like me like that, but I really like him, he picks on me a lot…but he's really nice once you get to know him!"

Ceviche nodded, feeling envious of Chowder. He had gotten kissed by Gorgonzola, his own crush who he is oblivious to liking him and by Ceviche's own crush Panini quite a few times as well. Chowder has such a lucky love life.

He sighed and clicked stop on the recorder before kneeling down to untie Panini's beloved, "Okay Chowder, thanks for answering, you can leave now."

"Are you okay? You and Panini are all sighing today; it's like someone died or something…OR BLEW UP! DID SOMEONE BLOW UP CEVICHE!?" Chowder asked, feeling disappointed for possibly missing an explosion but excited to hear the news of someone blowing up…unless it was Mung or Gorgonzola or Schnitzel or Gazpacho or Ceviche or Paté or…

Ceviche sighed again as Chowder walked out the door rambling about how sad he would be if someone he knew blew up. Does he even know he's talking aloud? Though he did envy Chowder's obliviousness, ignorance is bliss as they say. Maybe that's why the wise are so unhappy? He didn't know the answer to that, but he did know that he had gotten what Panini had wished for.

The tape, he clicked open the recorder from his jean pocket and took out the tape. Holding it in his hand, he felt so proud, Panini'll feel so happy when she sees him holding the tape and telling her that he got Chowder to drop the dime on him being gay like that…or 'half-gay' as he puts it.

He then felt saddened though, Panini'll be unhappy by what's on the tape, heartbroken, angry, vengeful, depressed, or maybe even worse. And he didn't want that to happen to her, honestly, he loved her for God's sake. And he did want her happy.

He fumbled with the tape in his hands as he took out a cigarette lighter. Paté had gotten into smoking lately and by trying to quit, he had given Ceviche his lighter to try and stop himself from getting too addicted. He sighed and looked at the lighter.

Burn the tape, and Panini'll be unhappy at first but she'll think of something else.

He switched his focus to the tape.

Keep the tape, and Panini'll be grateful to life itself for him and be immensely happy and maybe will give him a kiss for such a good job. Or at least a hug. That is, until she hears the tape and hears how much adoration and infatuation Chowder's voice is when he talks about Gorgonzola or what he's said or anything. Though she would maybe give up on Chowder all together and he would be there to catch her and they might be together forever and ever.

Ceviche sighed in frustration, what should he do?

Panini smiled as she finished her coffee. Coffee had always made her feel calmer though it is a stimulant. She was feeling better, much better. She smiled as she looked around; she was sitting around the corner from the storage room and though the street was kind of dinky, Ceviche's coffee made the experience much more durable. That boy did know how to make a mad good coffee.

"Panini! Panini!" The girl turned towards the direction of the monotone voice of Ceviche as he ran up to her, he looked a bit panicked.

"Did you get the tape?" She asked, feeling a tad more hopeful.

"Yeah I did!" Ceviche said, nodding.

"…Well, where is it?" She asked, did she have to spell this out to him? Though she was happy that he got Chowder to speak like a trained dog, maybe she'll get him something later for his good work.

He flinched at her question, "Well, you see…IT SUDDENLY BURST INTO FLAMES!" He shouted, seeming to attract the whole attention of the passing bystanders.

"What!?" Panini gasped, her mouth hanging open and swinging there.

"Yeah! It's just sitting there now, burning you know…" He explained, pointing towards the storage room.

"Why didn't you try to step on it or something to stop it!?" Panini shouted, standing up from her seat and advancing onto Ceviche.

"…I didn't want my jeans to catch on fire…" Ceviche replied quickly.

"UHG!" Panini sighed before running off to the storage room, yelling about how he cares more about a pair of jeans then the tape.

Ceviche smirked to himself as he jogged after her. Of course he would choose her happiness, he loved her for God's sake, and as they say, ignorance is bliss.


End file.
